Witnessing a loved one experience a panic attack can feel overwhelming and leave you unsure of how to respond. This page offers practical, compassionate steps you can take to provide support during these difficult moments.
It's completely understandable to feel frozen and unsure of what to do when your wife is experiencing a panic attack. It's a very intense and frightening experience for the person going through it, and it can be distressing and feel helpless for those around them. Many partners feel this way, so please know you're not alone in that reaction. During a panic attack, her body is in a 'fight or flight' state, flooding her system with adrenaline, which causes those overwhelming physical sensations like a racing heart, shortness of breath, and dizziness. It feels very real, but it is not actually dangerous.
The most important thing you can offer in that moment is your calm, steady presence. Instead of trying to find the perfect words to say, focus on being there for her. You can gently remind her, and yourself, that while the feelings are intense, they are temporary and will pass. A really helpful technique is to guide her breathing. Encourage her to focus on a long, slow exhale, as this helps to calm the nervous system. You could try counting with her: breathe in for a count of four, then slowly out for a count of six. Keep your voice soft and even, and let her know you are there with her.
After the initial intensity of the attack has passed, and she feels a little more settled, you might gently suggest exploring ways to understand these feelings better. Many people in Pakistan experience mental health challenges, with around 90% receiving no treatment at all, partly due to the stigma surrounding these issues. Talking to a family doctor (GP) can be a good first step; they can rule out any physical causes and then help you explore options like speaking with a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness, and it doesn't mean anything about your faith or resilience. You can also explore services like university counselling departments or telehealth options which can be more accessible. Noor is also here to talk, offering a space for understanding and support as you navigate these experiences together.
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